Sunday, August 30, 2009
Green Tea Cake
Hello all. It's been very eventful these couple of days. Both in good&bad ways. I've been over stressing myself, and I feel the lack of energy overpowering my will to enjoy the last couple of weeks of summer. Justin has been very good to me lately, and I feel like I do nothing but abuse him. I don't want him to spoil me with his affection or money anymore. I feel so little when I have to rely on him. I just want to be independent, but at the same time I like being able to rely on him. Sigh, I am much too complicated. My mother has been warming up to the idea of us, so I want to make sure this is something I want before I actually go any further, family-wise. Sometimes when I'm by myself, and he's not around, I feel myself wavering. I hate it. Although it is to be expected, it makes me feel so weak. I need to forget. I need to remember that life doesn't give anyone second chances, so neither should I. I love being with Justin, he makes me happy. I just don't like it when he's not around, which I'll have to deal with for a year, starting 3 weeks from now. I'm scared. And worried. I don't know of what, not of him leaving, but I'm just simply scared. No reason to it, kind of a big change. But I hope I can handle it. I just love him so much...
So, besides that everything else has been going well. My friends and Justin are all being so supportive of me and my aspirations of entering this contest. I really feel like I can do this. I don't think I've felt like this about a passion of mine in a very long time. I appreciate all of them and all their support. I just need to fix this into my head that I can do this, by being just me. I don't need to go out and buy expensive clothes, or do my hair or makeup any specific way, or lose weight. I just need to be me. Because that's what it really all comes down to. I want to see if I can win this by being myself.
On a much lighter note~! I have just discovered the greatest thing on the planet today while joking around with the babe! (: Yeshhh~! It's green tea cake! Nom nom, I never in my wildest dreams would have put them together, but now that I have seen it, it makes PERFECT sense! LOL I want to try it one day soon! :D NOM NOM!
Ah, and babe TOTALLY surprised me with TARO bread the other night, nom nom! It was super yummy, my mom ate TWO of them lol. I had the garlic&cheese bread which was AMAZING! I want some more soon, k babe? <3
Went shopping the other day, and got a buncha good stuff with the store credit I found in my wallet collecting dust haha. Although I wish there was more of the card I managed to snatch a couple of great things, with the help of babe of course. I finally got some suspenders, which took me all mornng to figure out haha. Two pair of earrings for a dollar each! <3 WHATTA STEAL! &got me some fiberwig mascara ;) let's see how well these baby play on my pretty eyelashes tomorrow! hehehe~! So excited! <3 Got some free Godiva chocolate thanks to my girl Geri :) &got free starbucks smoothie (which sucks, but it was free!) LOL ahh helped babe find his jeans and got to play dressup in Old Navy, fun day lol. Wish I got that MAC blush though, oh &that cardigan but oh well! All good! LOL, probably need something a little thicker than a cardigan since it's gonna start being cold again. I'm thinking... leather? ;) teehee! Oh, went to Nordstrom&checked out the Bobbi Brown eyeshadow creams and I was NOT feeling it, way too much RANDOM gliter, it was all different tones of glitter, wtfukc right? But yeah, the Victoria Secret line was amazing though! Too bad they ran outta the color I wanted, oh well. :) No biggie!
So I'm excited to see babe tomorrow morning&heading out to eat breakfast with him for the first time! Hahaha, yay! Go see chinatown too :) Yeyeyeye! I'm excited! I should sleep soon, but knowing me I won't lol. Ah, time to go surf the web, bye everyone!
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